While I’ve never been happier on a personal front, this is not what I am, not what I stand for, not how I envision myself to be. It’s almost as if my inner self, the breakfree being, the rebel is lost somewhere. I need to talk to him, bring him back.
The winter’s gone, the spring’s passed very quick and it’s all summer. And it looks like gonna last real long.
It’s been a while since I wrote here, a couple of weeks, thanks to the many things changing around me. It’s another thing that I’m writing this piece at 6:30 AM on a Thursday morning, I clearly don’t have plans to go to work today – thanks to the cold.
“Too many minds. No mind” says Nobutada in the movie The Last Samurai
WordPress has been a great platform for me. Although it’s a blogging platform first, the fabulous WordPress Community acts as a social network. It’s a good parallel to the social networks like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
The role of the society in people’s personal lives is too intrusive, personal spaces are not respected and them young ‘uns are just expected to fall in line per the elders’ wishes.
And then I saw the girl with the dog walked past our house. That’s all she does in her life, I guess. May be she works somewhere, but whenever I see her she’s walking her dog in the neighborhood. She lives just up my street and has a granny who’s acquainted with Mum.
It’s funny that this rant of mine is actually playing out in my head as if the words are being spoken out loud by the very characters. That obviously means I’ve been watching way too much of the show, not that I can do much about it. I’m at the fag end of Season 9 and there are, like what, 32 more episodes to watch before I go insane and shoot myself?
So, I lost about 2k on the bicycle, about 5 days of vacation, INR 7000 for removing my teeth. I gained nothing out of any of this.
A milestone has been reached. 100 blog posts!
Could I’ve managed it better? No. There’s no way out of this routine. Not until parents come back. Not until someone can cook your breakfast and dinner.
I could’ve been many things, but I didn’t become those. Not because I didn’t want to become any of those, but because I wanted to become all of those. And sticking to that line of thought, trying to be everything, I never paid enough attention to any single time.
Beyond fibromyalgia symptoms, short-stories and email writing, another thing did keep me busy and ate into my blogging hours in the last 10 days. A movie called Lamhe. I’ve been so hooked to it that I have watched it 3 times in 5 days.
I don’t write for a living. I don’t blog to earn revenues. I don’t do it to flaunt a thousand followers. I don’t know if my writing will ever take me there. Yet, I do it. Why? For “Nirmal Anand”.
Clear Thoughts from A Confused Head 