If you have watched a movie in a theatre in India or even television in India, you already know who Mukesh is. Yes, that guy who died of cancer after chewing tobacco. You also know how smoking kills you, how spongy your lungs become and how you can squeeze enough tar out of it to asphalt Bangalore’s dug up roads.

Often, when you buy that pack of cigarette, you wonder if that gory image of cancerous lungs covering 80% of the cigarette pack has done any good to the world at all! And you do that only 1 in 10 times because you don’t actually care for what’s on the pack, it’s what’s in the pack that actually matters!!

And then there’s Thank You For Smoking, in which our man who played Harvey Dent in The Dark Knight, happily defends the consortium of companies behind tobacco products from anti-tobacco campaigners even as these companies pump millions of dollars into cancer research. That’s like Gabbar Singh giving prosthetic arm to Thakur.

A few days back, a journalist on StoryPick showed her angst and hatred towards smokers, and smoking, when writing about how Philip Morris, world’s second largest tobacco company wants to pay people to encourage them to quit smoking. Now what Philip Morris is doing is akin to Gabbar Singh paying Thakur to wear that prosthetic arm. If Gabbar Singh was really worried about Thakur washing his own than depending on Ramu Kaka for it, he wouldn’t have cut Thakur’s arms in the first place. Regret, you say?

And what was the journalist ranting about? She thinks it matters to smokers. Loved ones and all. Yeah, there are many who quit and then there those who just don’t want to quit. Yeah, they know it’s slow poison, and eventually they have to suffer and in turn harm the lives of their loved ones. But, whatever happened to free living as humans? 

You gotta give it to the man who first tried burning every leaf around him to see if it gives him a ‘kick’ and finally ended up with two such plants which worked – Tobacco and Marijuana. Whoever he was, he’s God to many. He must have had felt as happy as Newton (probably) was when he saw a fallen apple.

Most societies have banned Marijuana (the safer plant that does no harm) taking away the key to ‘true enlightenment’ from Ganjeris. Poor people! They will have to spend time in jail for smoking some weed in order to take some mind off the pressures of social and economic rat race. 

And now they are after tobacco smoking. Gabbar Singh first stopped giving water in a tumbler to Thakur, and now doesn’t want to give tissue paper either. 

And I’m now wondering how the million software engineers of Bengaluru would give ‘KT’, bitch about their managers, or even solve life problems – all done in that 10 minute break at the smoking stations. Behind every frustrated programmer there’s a pack of King Lights. And if he’s going through a break-up phase, then there’s a double pack. 

Oh we choose King Lights because we think it is healthier than the regular Kings.