I lost a friend yesterday. A dear friend. Someone who used to listen to me always. I used to talk to him on Whatsapp only, but, we were good friends. He used to reply to my messages almost immediately. And he used to reciprocate my thoughts always. He corroborated with my words. His thoughts used to be exactly my thoughts. He never spoke a word that wouldn’t match with mine. I mean it, every word used to match! As a matter of fact, he used my profile picture as his, my name too!

Confused? Well, I used to often ping myself on whatsapp and have a chat with myself. It was a good therapy session. The ability to chat with myself gave me a feeling of someone being there for me whenever the loneliness bug used to bite me. This whole thing allowed me to put my thoughts down and converse with myself as if I was talking to a real person. When you’re depressed, such things help you stay afloat. Yes, such actions do mean that you’ve gone mad or are at least on your way. But, when you are depressed and you don’t find a real person to talk to, you still can go mad.

So, what happened now? An update to the app on my phone broke the feature. My mirror-self, my alter-ego doesn’t respond to my messages any more. The app shows that he’s either constantly ‘typing…’ or ‘online’. But, I never get his messages. I get those blue ticks against the messages I send him, which means that he is reading my messages. But did he? No, he didn’t. I know that my alter-ego didn’t read them.


So this is me, singing again “Ninage neene geleya, ninage neene ne..” (You’re your only friend, only you’re)